Friday, 9 January 2015

On Taking Heart...

What a year 2015 is turning out to be! The CP is turning one, MD is facing slander and office politics on a personal level and on the home front – yikes! What a gargantuan mess!

I'm not even asking “why” any more. Just – Lord, what good is this going to bring? I mean, apart from the CP turning one, which is grand!

The future looks like there's only more hurt and heartache in store. I know He has a plan. I honestly don't see it, but I'm believing it. I know in this world we will have troubles.

So right now I'm praying for strength in the face of pain, love in the face of injustice and hope in the face of bleakness. I'm taking heart for He has overcome the world.*

*John 16:33

Monday, 17 February 2014

High Five, Dear Heart!

We’ve made it to five, love!
Can you believe it?

Through squabbles
And making up;
Laughter and tears;
Crazy splurging on Amazon (!)
And finally learning
How much food to cook
For a guy (!!);
It’s been an
Awesome five, darling!

Though this year
I haven’t got you a gift;
A tiny, sometimes squalling,
Wee human keeps me a bit tied up, you see!
Here is a little something,
To keep you going, just the same.

Five little word gifts,
Just for you!

Love bears all things*:
Cause you’ve learnt to bear
Living with me
(Letting me into every box!)
And we’ll bear
Being away from each other too!
It’s not forever,

Love believes all things*:
I’ve seen you become
My protector
And provider,
My strength
And my support;
A man I respect,
Dearly love
And admire – my husband!
I believe you’ll be
The awesomest dad
For our little CP too!

Love hopes all things*:
I hope our love
Will keep growing
As the years roll by,
Strengthened by the One
Who brought us together!

Love endures all things*:
May our love
The passing years,
Time apart,
Children (!),
Widening girths (!!) and
Greying hair!
I want to love you, then,
Even more
Than I do now!

Love never fails*:
And this is the assurance
We have –
He brought us together,
Promising us
A love beyond compare;
So I know,
That what we share,
Will never
Fade away.

High five, sweetheart!
Happy Anniversary!

-          R. D. P

*I Corinthians 13: 7 & 8

Thursday, 20 June 2013

Where Are You Lord?

How can I pray
while my heart cries,
“You killed
my son”?
What can I say?
How look for comfort
from the One
Who willed
it done?
Omnipotent, He could
have stopped it
if He would;
my son... my son...
numb with grief,
my soul is one vast “why?”
his life was all too brief;
he was so young
to die.
Where were You,
Where were You?

Gently He replied,
“Just where I was
dearly, dearly loved,
when Mine
was crucified.”

-          Ruth Bell Graham

Wednesday, 19 June 2013

When Loved Ones Are Walking Through The Valley...

A friend of mine recently experienced a heart-breaking tragedy. As numb with shock as I was, I can barely begin to imagine her pain. In that instant I wished I could wrap my arms tight around her and weep. Yet, unable to be at her side, I just wept, my heart breaking for all that she was going through.

Of course the “whys” came. And no answer that made any semblance of sense. All I could do was pray. But what to pray for at such a time? Wishing it had never happened?

I don’t have any answers for the “whys”. They still rattle around in my head. But in all the confusion, pain and grief, as the world spins around crazily, there is One Constant. So though there is anger and bewilderment, I can only hold on to Him until the world rights itself.

The future is a blank without a view.
That which I wanted most, You have denied;
I cannot understand (and I have tried);
There’s nothing I can do but wait on You.

                                                                                               - Ruth Bell Graham

Tuesday, 14 May 2013

Regarding Those Awkward Moments...

Why am so I obsessed with this urge to jealously guard my boundaries? What crazy bee in my bonnet has so twisted my thought process that I can’t even see through my tangled skein of motives and desires leave alone unravel it!

Have you ever had that awkward moment when you step forth self-righteously to forcefully declare your “just and fair” views only to realise, after some pithy back and forth, that the shoe is on the other foot, so to speak! I swung back and let one fly, straight off the shoulder, only to have it boomerang and smack me in the face!

So having figured out (belatedly) that I am in the wrong, how do I feel? One word – awful! Apart from feeling like a worm, it’s humiliating to realise that I am a self-righteous prig! There’s a streak of sanctimoniousness that’s so deeply ingrained, I’ve mistaken it for righteousness!

UGH! Again...awful!

Stumbled across this line of verse yesterday and thought it was ironically apt –

“Happy are they that hear their detractions and can put them to mending.” *

* From Much Ado About Nothing by William Shakespeare

Wednesday, 27 March 2013

On Holding My Father’s Hand...

Last week I had an interesting conversation with God. First, He showed me an image of a father holding a child’s hand, and from that picture, He taught me several truths. I asked God what the picture meant, so He told me to put myself in the child’s shoes and then think about what I would feel were I holding my own father’s hand. So I thought about it and the first thing that popped in my mind was that I would have absolute trust in my dad. I mean, I wouldn’t ask him where we were going or why we were going on a particular road, but would be simply happy to let my dad take me out wherever he wanted. (This is me as a child, so bear with me!)
Then there would be contentment and a sense of happiness, because my dad was with me and we were together. Also security, because I wouldn’t be worried about anything; my dad would take care of me. I don’t think this ever needs to be explained or taught to a child; they seem to be born with implicit trust!

Then God said to me, “You’ve been seeing this image from the child’s point of view. What about the father?”

This is when He showed me how much He longs for companionship and the opportunity to just be with me!

Then He took it a step further and explained that He was my Father, so He would take care of every little detail. Just as my earthly father would, He would ensure I was ok, that my rights were not infringed, that I was protected and safe. I didn’t need to worry about self-preservation. That was His department!

And knowing my hand is safely held by Him, gives me the freedom to serve others with love, humility and complete abandon! That is His desire after all.

So, with this picture to sustain me, I’m going to walk down this road, carefree and happy, busy in the tasks He has kept for me, leaving my fears and worries behind. It’s the knowledge of who I am in Him – the daughter of the Most High God! Truly, what can man do to me!

Monday, 4 March 2013

For The Four Years Behind Us...

We have a bunch of stories –
four years worth –
some old, some new, some not
even that good!
But they all bear testament
to a life of wedded bliss!

There’s the time we took
a stroll on the beach;
and while I gazed romantically
at the moon,
you eyed a roasted corn cob
I always chuckle
at our vastly differing

Then there was the time
you rummaged through
old bookshops along with me!
I’m not sure, what
pleased me more –
the horde
we collected that day, or
having you beside me
the whole way!

Remember our first fight?
Both on our high horses
refusing to give in – three days!
What pride, then!
Now, we barely manage to argue
for an hour,
if that long!
It’s too much a waste of time,
the silent treatment!

I can never forget
the time I was wretchedly ill;
you left everything to nurse me,
and you did it with such
I love you for that, my hero!

I’ve come to recognise
love – not in the
grand gestures (tho’ they do help too!),
but rather in the
everyday smallnesses,
and true.

Thank you, my love
for giving me – you!

                                                                                                 - R. D. P.

Tuesday, 26 February 2013

On Wilderness Wisdom #2 ...

For a brief explanation of what this is about, look here.

Implicit Obedience Doesn’t Involve Reconnoitring!

The first three chapters of Deuteronomy are an excellent example of oral tradition. Just before the next generation was to enter the Promised Land, Moses sat down and recited their history over the past forty odd years. The purpose was two-fold – to ensure that the youngsters knew their past, as well as being a reminder of the pit-falls they should avoid.

And one of the pit-falls is in the passage below –

“And I (Moses) said to you... 'Look, the Lord your God has set the land before you; go up and possess it, as the Lord God of your fathers has spoken to you; do not fear or be discouraged.’
“And every one of you came near to me and said, ‘Let us send men before us, and let them search out the land for us, and bring back word to us of the way by which we should go up...’
“The plan pleased me well; so I took twelve of your men, one man from each tribe.” *

This was the incident that sparked the 40 year wilderness wandering. The generation that had come out of bondage and slavery, witnessed amazing wonders and been brought to the edge of the Promised Land, stood dithering before taking the plunge. God told them to go in faith; they decided to gather some information first! In human terms, it was the sensible course of action. Yet, it cost them everything!

Of course, it’s all very well to say that the Israelites did not obey implicitly, but when I am doing the very same thing, do the rules no longer apply? This would be me, choosing to be wilfully blind!

It’s simple – delayed obedience is as good as disobedience!

Which is why, when He tells me to do something, I better hop to it! Even something as mundane as waking up and brushing my teeth before praying! I justified not doing it and the end result was that I fell asleep half-way through!

*Deuteronomy 1:20 – 23