inkhorn

Faced by rock, impregnable, cold, I claw and clamour, wondering - 'Where do I even begin looking for hope?' At the door, are despair and anguish; So I clutch at straws - 'He has promised after all, can it get worse?' Finally, in desperation, I clench the Word, staring blankly, eyes clouded, by misery. Until! A phrase, stands up and shouts - “...God is the strength of my heart...”* - my heart ;  not  body,  mind,  or  spirit.  (Though He is  all that too!) Just the salve, my sore self needed, to ease the hurt and pain. Rest finally enfolds me and peace enters - He is “...the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”* Oh bliss!                                     - R. D. P * Based on Psalm 73:26

So I’ve been reading Exodus through to Deuteronomy over the past few months, and have stumbled across various perceptive nuggets of insight from the wilderness wanderings of the (in)famous motley family troupe. These gems were learned the hard way most of the time, if at all! More like “Truth Bombs” as MD would say! It’s a collection that I call “Wilderness Wisdom”... Tried And True? God Doesn't Think So! Most times I live on the basis of tried and true methods. If something has worked for me in the past, I’d rather follow that pattern again, than risk a newfangled one. But God, being the Creative One, doesn't think so! In Numbers 20:8-12, God commands Moses to “speak” to a rock for it to yield its water. This was the second instance of water being brought forth from a rock. Earlier, Moses had been instructed to “strike” the rock, and water had gushed forth. Piece of cake, wouldn't you say? This time should have been easy. He had done it before after all; he

It seems like I’ve come back full circle to a crucial lesson in my walk with God; a lesson that I thought I’d learned. Surprisingly, I’m finding myriad facets to the single issue; like a kaleidoscope, every time I come back to it, I see a new pattern! Which brings us to my pet peeve – waiting! I’ve said it before – I’m not very good at it! (Which is probably why He takes His time teaching me so many aspects of it! And here I was, misguidedly thinking I’d got the hang of it!) So frankly, waiting gets my goat! Especially, when I have His promises to show me what lies ahead! The intermediate “waiting” period, I find interminably boring! I itch to get things started; just a gentle nudge to get the ball rolling. Not overtly “making things happen”, but rather, a word here, an action there, just to push events along to the inevitable conclusion – His will, not mine! I’d seriously never seen any harm in it! Again, misguided! In the recent mini crisis that landed on my lap, I employed

It’s amazing how wilfully blind I have been! For a while now I’ve been praying and asking God for a deeper knowledge and understanding of Him. I had a brief glimpse one day – a glorious moment in the midst of all the chaos – a moment in time when I was given a foretaste of eternity...drenched in His love, I was overwhelmed by the utter beauty, breathless at His awesome glory, broken by the depth of His love...This was Love – pure and holy...poured out on me... But that was one afternoon. Life would be so amazing if I had experiences like that every day. Yet, even as the thought crossed my mind, I knew it wasn’t meant to happen. That glimpse that I was privileged to enjoy was an experience I will always treasure, but it was just that – an experience. Of course that didn’t stop me asking Him for more! The reply was painfully realistic – “... your father ... judged (defended) the cause of the poor and needy... Was not this knowing Me?” says the Lord.” * Instead

The Psalmist said something very profound – “You have put gladness in my heart, more than in the season that their grain and wine increased.”* Perspective from the other side. There is joy (of course) when things are good; when folks are fine and life is cruising, all sunshine and roses. But to have joy, in the midst of pain, is to either be delusional or been bestowed a divine gift. I choose the later. *Psalms 4:7

Frankly, I am not enjoying this process! Fear has not been conquered and worry has not been vanquished. My immediate reaction was to unworthily fling back my Father’s love in His face and weep uncontrollably. I find that this lack of control over my life has left me demoralized. I am an easy prey to the most stupid thoughts. And perhaps, not knowing in my lifetime, is too hard a price. I want to rail against the unfairness of it all. But Lord, as I stand, smack in the middle of another storm, the saving grace is that You are with me. For the moment, that is enough.

Father, I realise now that every experience I go through is Your plan and perfect will for me. You are working on me. Knocking a chip off, here; smoothing a rough edge there. I am your unique design, being moulded for a specific purpose. Well, two actually! One, here on earth – to fulfil what You have already prepared for me to do from before time - “ For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.” * And, two, to eventually be “fitted together” – laid between other stones, to build Your home. Lord, when I see my life in terms of eternity, I know I am just a tiny thread in the beautiful tapestry that You are weaving; and I am humbled. I now see that You are preparing me to fit perfectly! “...Jesus Christ Himself being the chief cornerstone,   in whom the whole building, being fitted together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord, in whom you also are being built together for a dwelling pl

Three years ago, today, around eleven-thirty, you pledged your love to me, before God and family. Three years ago, today, around half-past three, you and I, waved everyone goodbye, then played a game of TT! * Three years ago, today, around seven in the evening, we had some soup and some chicken wings, and watched some TV. ** Three years, today, my love, I can’t believe how they’ve flown, And the joy of being with you, has only grown. Three years behind us And, ahead, all of eternity; and all I can think about, is God answering all my prayers, and giving you to me! -          R. D. P. * True story! ** Again, true story!

Father, I realise that I am so inadequate. So unworthy of all that You have promised. And I know it is not about me. It is Your grace. You who are to be glorified. All I can say is Thank You, Lord... Please, may I desire You and You alone. “I am thy shield, and thy exceeding great reward.” Could heart wish more than this, O Lord, My Lord? -          Ruth Bell Graham

Taken from Amy Carmichael’s His Thoughts Said...His Father Said... – “His thoughts said, “The way is rough.”             His Father said, “But every step bringeth thee nearer to thy Home.” His thoughts said, “The fight is fierce.”             His Father said, “He who is near to his Captain is sure to be a target for the archers.” His thoughts said, “The night is long.”             His Father said, “But joy cometh in the morning.” * * Psalm 30:5

Like a shadow declining Swiftly away...away... Like the dew of the morning Gone with the heat of the day; Like the wind in the treetops, Like a wave of the sea, So are our lives on earth when seen In the light of eternity. -           Ruth Bell Graham Over the last few months, one thing I’ve realised is that I can never take life for granted. Life – living – it’s all so ephemeral. Here today and gone tomorrow. Nothing is set in stone. Nothing lasts forever. Least of all, life. But through the uncertainty of today, there is hope. The future is sure. It is secure. As simple as it may be, the knowledge is a balm. That this isn’t it. We will see him again. Heaven is not a dreamt-up sop for grieving folks, but a reality. An absolute. Which makes living worthwhile. “...He has put eternity in (our) hearts...”   * * Ecclesiastes 3:11

“Then a dispute arose among them as to which of them would be greatest.   And Jesus, perceive(d) the thought of their heart .” * A part of me always despised the disciples for arguing about who was the greatest. What a childish, ridiculous debate. Men! Trust them to be fighting about some non-issue. Such big egos. Which sensible person would wrangle saying, “I am the greatest.” Well that was my condescending attitude until I saw them in a new light. It was contended that we are all surprisingly/ shockingly similar to the disciples in that we compare ourselves to each other. Talk about being douched in cold water! I cannot even begin to count the number of times I look at someone and mentally decide, “Oh I’d never do that” or “I’m better in that sense” or even, “Oh no, he/she is so much more thoughtful/spiritual/good-looking, etc than I could ever be.” Innumerable times I’ve mentally compared – I vs. Mr. /Ms. X. Sub-consciously tallying the results – who is better

The cast is off! Yay! Now just some painful physiotherapy to get through and I should be good. It seems so strange to feel the floor beneath my foot. To even see my foot after it being in plaster for so long! To learn to turn my ankle. To learn to balance on both feet again, rather than one foot and a walker! To walk even! Lots of things to get used to. 

Aches and pains, Fears and cares; Some real, Some hidden, Most, not even there. Burdened by this life; I need some respite. I remember him; With a little envy perhaps. He’s cut loose, He’s free! Why him And not me? Understanding, I don’t claim; Nor any clarity. Where to, from here, Lord? I’m tired, help me. -           R. D. P.