inkhorn

I heard the conclusion of the wheelbarrow story the other day. When the tightrope walker asked for a volunteer to get into the wheelbarrow and be pushed across, several hundred feet off the ground, he was met with complete silence. Finally a little five year-old boy ran forward, got into the wheelbarrow and was pushed across safely. When the little chap got back on terra firma, people gathered around and asked him how he had been so brave. His reply was simple – “But why should I have been afraid? It was my dad who was pushing me!” So I made the momentous decision to get into the wheelbarrow! And I’m being trundled across the tightrope at the moment. The future is very unsure, but sitting in this wheelbarrow, I’m learning several lessons. Waiting patiently for one! I’m not too good at that. My Father and I have had some skirmishes. I want to stand up and assert my independence. All that seems to do is cause the wheelbarrow to wobble dreadfully! I wanted to give up at one point. Wait...

I had thought there must be some redeeming quality in me. Some talent or ability that made me useful to God, my family and society; that provided a reason for my very existence. Yet as I read Paul’s second epistle to the Corinthians, a different idea was pushed into my consciousness. “Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God.” In a way, this is connected with my acceptance of His grace. It took me a while to acknowledge my complete and absolute unworthiness and realise that He loved me inspite of it. Unbelievable but true! But admitting that my sufficiency – all I am and who I wanted to be – was only in Christ, went a step further. I’d never understood what the nailing of the self meant, till I saw this verse with new eyes. I had accepted the fact of my unworthiness but it didn’t stop there. Some painful digging into my soul had to be done till I realised that my sense of self-worth came in believing tha...