On Sufficiency And Grace…
I had thought there must be some redeeming quality in me. Some talent or ability that made me useful to God, my family and society; that provided a reason for my very existence. Yet as I read Paul’s second epistle to the Corinthians, a different idea was pushed into my consciousness.
“Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God.”
In a way, this is connected with my acceptance of His grace. It took me a while to acknowledge my complete and absolute unworthiness and realise that He loved me inspite of it. Unbelievable but true!
But admitting that my sufficiency – all I am and who I wanted to be – was only in Christ, went a step further. I’d never understood what the nailing of the self meant, till I saw this verse with new eyes. I had accepted the fact of my unworthiness but it didn’t stop there. Some painful digging into my soul had to be done till I realised that my sense of self-worth came in believing that there was something useful in me! A talent that was uniquely Ruth! This root of pride and egotism – Self, if you will – had to be agonisingly weeded out and nailed down. Very humbling to go before my Maker and agree that “I” did not have anything of my own.
Amazingly though, after that heart-to-heart with my Father, a burden’s been lifted off my shoulders. I no longer have to try and prove myself to anybody. Realising that my sufficiency comes from God, actually gives me the freedom to do my best, creatively. And now, what people say, doesn’t hurt my pride!
“Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God.”
In a way, this is connected with my acceptance of His grace. It took me a while to acknowledge my complete and absolute unworthiness and realise that He loved me inspite of it. Unbelievable but true!
But admitting that my sufficiency – all I am and who I wanted to be – was only in Christ, went a step further. I’d never understood what the nailing of the self meant, till I saw this verse with new eyes. I had accepted the fact of my unworthiness but it didn’t stop there. Some painful digging into my soul had to be done till I realised that my sense of self-worth came in believing that there was something useful in me! A talent that was uniquely Ruth! This root of pride and egotism – Self, if you will – had to be agonisingly weeded out and nailed down. Very humbling to go before my Maker and agree that “I” did not have anything of my own.
Amazingly though, after that heart-to-heart with my Father, a burden’s been lifted off my shoulders. I no longer have to try and prove myself to anybody. Realising that my sufficiency comes from God, actually gives me the freedom to do my best, creatively. And now, what people say, doesn’t hurt my pride!
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Sridevi