inkhorn

I sit and contemplate – we argued You and I – In silence, arguing still. I am hurting and so Are you; But where did it all begin? With some non-issue! I silently stare ahead, Studiously avoiding your eyes. Thoughts flit into my mind – I wonder if we could go back To not loving – ‘Cause love and hope Succour pain, And sometimes tis better not to feel at all. Sweet numbness, Shroud me. What blessed relief, To stop fighting the inevitable! Then! Before I can slide Under a cold shell, A ringing shout – “Stop wallowing! Get UP! Fight!” “Is that you Lord?” Ask I, slightly confused! Then light breaks – We are one, You and I. So I fight – the numbness And indifference That creeps in so insidiously – For us. I steal a glance from The corner of my eye, And catch you stealing A glance at me. And I realise - oh glorious fact! – We can never go back To not loving! - R.D.P

It’s been a while since I put pen to paper, figuratively speaking of course. What I mean is that it has been a while since I opened my heart to delve into my thoughts and feelings and lay them on display. And, not surprisingly, the words seem to be getting stuck in my throat. When you’re going through a phase; well, it’s hard to know that you are, for one! But when you’re finally out of it (you hope!) and you look back – there’s always the million dollar question – “What on earth happened?” The answer seems to be shrouded in vagueness, so I shall let that be for the moment. However, ‘moving on’, isn’t very palatable either! It’s like someone handed me a mirror and I don’t like the person staring back at me. I’m not sure if I’m going through a maturity cycle or if I’ve just turned into a horrible caricature of myself! There’s a hard shell of cynicism around me and I’m finding it difficult to feel, to love, to enjoy, to hope. The negativity seems to be seeping into my being through eve...