On Loving...Truly, Madly, Deeply...

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Another soul-searing truth I’ve learnt about myself is that I’ve never really loved my Father! I mean, yes, I do love Him (or thought I did), because He died for me and saved me and all that, but, truly, deep down, if I was being brutally honest, I’m not sure how real my love for Him is. I’ve never sought Jesus just for the pleasure of His company! I’ve always come to Him for...something; needs to be met, unfulfilled desires or even guidance for the next step. But just to come and sit at His feet and bask in His presence? Rarely, if ever. I can probably count those times on one hand!

The heart-breaking truth is that He loves me in spite of my grasping, opportunistic tendencies. He is willing to take me...even like this!

Comments

Anonymous said…
(Just who was it who died for you? Father or Jesus? :-)

Seriously though, are you looking in the wrong place in your concern about loving God?
You are concerned that your love for Him is poor
You measure love by whether you 'siit in his presence.
Are you not focusing on yourself in both those?
Why not thank Him for whatever you find around you? All the things in your life. Is he not the source of all the good in your life? Thank him.
Then maybe you will find yourself loving him a bit more in the way you desire.
'Flee love and it will follow thee;
Follow love and it will from thee flee.'
25 February 2013 at 05:23
inkhorn said…
Re-reading the post I realise I wasn’t very clear about that, was I! Sorry! Yes, Jesus died for me, however my overall concern was with my lack of love for the triune God.

What I wanted to convey was that God loves me deeply, just for myself. I’m not very lovable, but He does love (agape) me anyway. Yet I don’t reciprocate that love in the same way. My motives for loving Him are layered and selfish. I wanted to dig deeper to see if there is any part of me that loves God for who He is (His character and person), not for what He has given me. I realise I am focussing on myself here. One aspect of loving is enjoying the person’s company (for who the person is, not for what I can get from him/her, or for what he/she has given me); hence I used it to measure love.

But I do see that a way of understanding God’s awesome nature is by looking at His works and thanking Him! Thank you for pointing it out! :)
25 February 2013 at 13:23
anonymous said…
OK. But mature love does not just enjoy the company, but also the non-company.
Thanking him is not just for his 'awesome works' but also for the tiny things. An attitude of thanking continously,
1 March 2013 at 18:30
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