On Letting Go...

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So I stand at the threshold of another crossroad. And I find myself struggling with this new avenue. I want to jump up and fight for my rights. I’m fearful of the future. Worst case scenarios crowd my mind and I feel life slipping out of my control. Fear and anger take over and I righteously claim mine. I’m protecting what belongs to me – so I can’t be wrong, right?

Then why is there no peace? Only fear and worry? “Lord”, I pray, half-heartedly. “Why are You asking me to do this? It’s unfair!” Deep down, I don’t really want any answers. Just a good fight and a chance to claim my just dues and be proved right!

But thankfully He loves me too much to leave me in misery. “Seek Me and live*,” He said. “How Lord,” I cried. “What should I do?” So He led me to this passage from the book Gold By Moonlight by Amy Carmichael. Based on the verse below, this is what she writes –

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.”**
"A word was spoken...inwardly: "See in this a chance to die." ..."See in this" - this provoking, this rebuke that should not have been - "a chance to die". To self and pride that comes from defending self. "See in anything" - anything that rouses you to claim your "rights", or even to consider them at all - "a chance to die". Welcome anything that calls you to your only true position: "I have been crucified with Christ..." A crucified life cannot be self-assertive. It cannot protect itself. It cannot be startled into resentful words. The cup that is full of sweet water cannot spill bitter-tasting drops, however sharply it is knocked."

Bitter tears were shed, but they served to break light in through the gloom. And as I asked for strength and love to fill me, my Father looked at me and said, “The Lord Your God will carry you as a father carries his son all the way...” ***


* Amos 5:4
** Galatians 2:20, 21
*** Deuteronomy 1:31

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