On Finding Peace...

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“I heard you in the secret place of the storm. In the secret place among the unspoken things, there am I.”*

So I’d reached the point of no return. In the silence, stripped of all platitudes, finally it was just Him and I. No pretence. No highfalutin nonsense. Just the plain truth.

He listened patiently as I, through tears and heartbrokenness, poured out all my fears, complaints and inabilities to Him. I told Him it was too much. I couldn’t go on.

“What is your ultimate desire?” He asked in infinite kindness.

“I don’t know,” was my miserable reply.

And then, He lifted the veil from my eyes and I finally understood what was paralyzing me – the fear of the unknown.

“But I’m scared Lord.” I justified, angrily. “I’m afraid of the road You’ve prepared for me. I’m scared it’s going to get more painful as I continue walking. I don’t know what worse “surprises” lie ahead!”

Yet, even as I said it I saw that my resistance was filling me with dread and hopelessness. And it’s very depressing and debilitating to live like that (I should know!).

So I finally acknowledged – “My ultimate desire is to be at peace – with You.”

Then slowly, but surely, the darkness receded and I felt a beautiful calmness flood my soul; I finally saw clearly that when I’m in the centre of His will, that was the best (read safest!) place I could be. So, no matter how torturous the road ahead, since it’s where He wants me to be, then He’d be right there beside me!

“When all is said and done, the last word is Immanuel – God-With-Us.”**

* Psalm 81:7 (paraphrased)
** Isaiah 8:10 (The Message)

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