On Finding Peace...

-

“I heard you in the secret place of the storm. In the secret place among the unspoken things, there am I.”*

So I’d reached the point of no return. In the silence, stripped of all platitudes, finally it was just Him and I. No pretence. No highfalutin nonsense. Just the plain truth.

He listened patiently as I, through tears and heartbrokenness, poured out all my fears, complaints and inabilities to Him. I told Him it was too much. I couldn’t go on.

“What is your ultimate desire?” He asked in infinite kindness.

“I don’t know,” was my miserable reply.

And then, He lifted the veil from my eyes and I finally understood what was paralyzing me – the fear of the unknown.

“But I’m scared Lord.” I justified, angrily. “I’m afraid of the road You’ve prepared for me. I’m scared it’s going to get more painful as I continue walking. I don’t know what worse “surprises” lie ahead!”

Yet, even as I said it I saw that my resistance was filling me with dread and hopelessness. And it’s very depressing and debilitating to live like that (I should know!).

So I finally acknowledged – “My ultimate desire is to be at peace – with You.”

Then slowly, but surely, the darkness receded and I felt a beautiful calmness flood my soul; I finally saw clearly that when I’m in the centre of His will, that was the best (read safest!) place I could be. So, no matter how torturous the road ahead, since it’s where He wants me to be, then He’d be right there beside me!

“When all is said and done, the last word is Immanuel – God-With-Us.”**

* Psalm 81:7 (paraphrased)
** Isaiah 8:10 (The Message)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

On Waiting…Again…

-
I waited for you beside the waters But you did not come. And as I gazed at my reflection, I saw the quiet surface, Ripple and furl. Sunlight that had danced his way Through the billows, Now hid himself, Shying away from what the waters showed – me! The still waters turned choppy And I, lone and cold, Waited for you But you did not come. I ranted and raved, And ordered Him to tell you to come. I was waiting after all. Was it so unfair what I asked? In the silence, And the cold, With only the North wind for company, I finally knelt, Too spent to weep, And gave Him what I’d been holding Tightly to my heart – you. The wind died and The waters stilled. And I saw my watery visage again. The sunlight deigned to grace me With his presence, This time! It dawned on me I had been placing the wrong order. He was leading me to you Not the other way round! So I have begun to walk. Along the green pastures, And beside the still waters; Sometimes dark valleys...
Read more

On Re-Decorating…

-
Sometimes something as trivial as moving the furniture around can change one’s point of view entirely! God always has a purpose (even though 80% of the time I may not see it!). Emerging from a phase, brought me to a point where I was thinking about being proactive. Which lead me to join forces with the maid and do some re-designing! So as the beds in the guest room swung across to their new resting place (on the opposite wall), I stood back and took stock. Seeing the room look strangely different made me realise that this was me! (Bear with me as I think this through!) So they’re the same beds in the same room, but now that I see them from a different angle, the entire “feel” of the room’s changed. It’s not even subtle – more like glaringly obvious! So where does that leave me? With my thoughts, priorities and feelings re-aligned! I’ve not always been a big fan of change. I like things the way they’ve always been. If it’s not broken, don’t fix it – would be a favourite catch-phr...
Read more

The Fight...

-
I sit and contemplate – we argued You and I – In silence, arguing still. I am hurting and so Are you; But where did it all begin? With some non-issue! I silently stare ahead, Studiously avoiding your eyes. Thoughts flit into my mind – I wonder if we could go back To not loving – ‘Cause love and hope Succour pain, And sometimes tis better not to feel at all. Sweet numbness, Shroud me. What blessed relief, To stop fighting the inevitable! Then! Before I can slide Under a cold shell, A ringing shout – “Stop wallowing! Get UP! Fight!” “Is that you Lord?” Ask I, slightly confused! Then light breaks – We are one, You and I. So I fight – the numbness And indifference That creeps in so insidiously – For us. I steal a glance from The corner of my eye, And catch you stealing A glance at me. And I realise - oh glorious fact! – We can never go back To not loving! - R.D.P
Read more