On Not Being Alone...

Through the lows, I’ve gone from one random thought to the next. Emotions and feelings swinging wildly like a pendulum, but always in silence. There is no love. No desire to serve. No hope. Only a foolish longing for things to go back to the way they were. Followed, unfailingly, by the guilt, for allowing the self-pity to weaken. So despicable in its selfishness.

Dealing with fears and doubts leads to an isolated, lonely existence, I’ve learned. I do not claim to have the answers. Just that there have been moments of clarity that have lifted the fog of confusion. Moments when I realise that I’m not struggling on my own. Thank you, Lord!

The growing darkness closes in

Like some thick fog,

Engulfing me –

A creeping horror –

Till I learned,

“the darkness hideth not

From Thee.”

...As in a darkened room

One knows –

Knows without sight –

Another there,

So, in the darkness,

Sure I knew

Thy presence,

And the cold despair,

Formless and chaotic, merged

To a soft glory;

...No wild

Fears shall torment,

My weakness now.

The dark –the dark –

Surrounds me still.

But so dost Thou!

-          Ruth Bell Graham