On Swallowing A Bitter Pill…

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Recently I was plagued by that most demoralizing of emotions – Envy.

I have my faults; I can list them out, cause they rear their unsightly selves from time to time. However, Envy was never part of the ranks; not, until, a few days back, that is! Which is why it took me a while to recognise it for what it was, masked beneath a cloak of self-pity, materialism and inquisitiveness, as it were!

It’s difficult and humbling to acknowledge the depths one can plummet.

But as I sat and thought about all that I believed I was missing out on – about the unfairness of life that doesn’t hand over everything you want, the minute you want it (I can understand if you wish to roll your eyes at this unbelievably daft line of reasoning! I’m sure God did!) – He said,

“Why do you say…my just claim is passed over by my God?” *

And I realised that apart from being ridiculously thoughtless about all the hard work MD was putting in to provide a comfortable life for us, I was being unbelievably ungrateful to my Father; blaming Him, indirectly, for any dissatisfaction I had with my life.

Here I was, living with the love of my life, in a beautiful home; I have a supportive family, friends, and more than enough roti and kapda. Yet, I was allowing covetousness to run amok, creating havoc, spreading greed and discontent.

How incredibly foolish!

* Isaiah 40:27

Comments

freeze-dried said…
Sigh. Doesn't help that Envy is so bloody stealthy, no?
14 February 2011 at 18:07
inkhorn said…
yeah...sneaks up on you and grabs you unawares!
15 February 2011 at 09:39
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