**This post first appeared on Indiaanya ** Have you ever been asked this question, “Did you have a love marriage or an arranged marriage?” When I was asked this the first time, it stumped me for a bit because I couldn't classify my marriage under either! When I was twenty-four my parents and I moved to Chennai. This was the first time I had lived in the land of my origins. Having spoken only English and Hindi all my life, hearing Tamil all around me was a bit of a shocker. To add to all the confusion, since I was at the “ideal marriageable age” my parents started getting questioned by relatives and friends, “So when are you getting your daughter married?” or “Twenty-four? That's old. You should do something soon otherwise she won't find anyone,” or “What criteria are you looking for? Nadar?” That was when I realised that being from a particular community and caste meant a lot, even to Christians. The most provoking question, though, had to be, “How much gold are you