inkhorn

MD and I were chatting the other day and I asked him for feedback on my writing. Apart from all the nice things he said (which I shan’t embarrass my readers with!), we discussed the reason I call myself inkhorn . The explanation, according to him, deserved a post in itself.  An inkhorn is an archaic description of an inkwell or a small, portable container for ink. As such, it is constantly being emptied of its contents and being refilled – to be emptied again. An inkhorn is a valuable, necessary tool for any writer. Without it, a pen that runs dry would be useless. When I chose to become a writer, I prayed that God would use me, my skills and my work for His glory. I wanted my life to be emptied again and again of all self and be filled with His love. To be honest, some portions of being emptied are quite painful, but the hope and joy is that He fills me up, to continue my journey of being transformed into His likeness. So I am His inkhorn ; for Him to write His story with!

It’s been a while since I put pen to paper, figuratively speaking of course. What I mean is that it has been a while since I opened my heart to delve into my thoughts and feelings and lay them on display. And, not surprisingly, the words seem to be getting stuck in my throat. When you’re going through a phase; well, it’s hard to know that you are, for one! But when you’re finally out of it (you hope!) and you look back – there’s always the million dollar question – “What on earth happened?” The answer seems to be shrouded in vagueness, so I shall let that be for the moment. However, ‘moving on’, isn’t very palatable either! It’s like someone handed me a mirror and I don’t like the person staring back at me. I’m not sure if I’m going through a maturity cycle or if I’ve just turned into a horrible caricature of myself! There’s a hard shell of cynicism around me and I’m finding it difficult to feel, to love, to enjoy, to hope. The negativity seems to be seeping into my being through eve