inkhorn

We have a bunch of stories – four years worth – some old, some new, some not even that good! But they all bear testament to a life of wedded bliss! There’s the time we took a stroll on the beach; and while I gazed romantically at the moon, you eyed a roasted corn cob lovingly! I always chuckle at our vastly differing priorities! Then there was the time you rummaged through old bookshops along with me! I’m not sure, what pleased me more – the horde we collected that day, or having you beside me the whole way! Remember our first fight? Both on our high horses refusing to give in – three days! What pride, then! Now, we barely manage to argue for an hour, if that long! It’s too much a waste of time, the silent treatment! I can never forget the time I was wretchedly ill; you left everything to nurse me, and you did it with such panache! I love you for that, my hero! I’ve come to recognise love – no...

It seems like I’ve come back full circle to a crucial lesson in my walk with God; a lesson that I thought I’d learned. Surprisingly, I’m finding myriad facets to the single issue; like a kaleidoscope, every time I come back to it, I see a new pattern! Which brings us to my pet peeve – waiting! I’ve said it before – I’m not very good at it! (Which is probably why He takes His time teaching me so many aspects of it! And here I was, misguidedly thinking I’d got the hang of it!) So frankly, waiting gets my goat! Especially, when I have His promises to show me what lies ahead! The intermediate “waiting” period, I find interminably boring! I itch to get things started; just a gentle nudge to get the ball rolling. Not overtly “making things happen”, but rather, a word here, an action there, just to push events along to the inevitable conclusion – His will, not mine! I’d seriously never seen any harm in it! Again, misguided! In the recent mini crisis that landed on my lap, I employed ...

The Psalmist said something very profound – “You have put gladness in my heart, more than in the season that their grain and wine increased.”* Perspective from the other side. There is joy (of course) when things are good; when folks are fine and life is cruising, all sunshine and roses. But to have joy, in the midst of pain, is to either be delusional or been bestowed a divine gift. I choose the later. *Psalms 4:7

Taken from Amy Carmichael’s His Thoughts Said...His Father Said... – “His thoughts said, “The way is rough.”             His Father said, “But every step bringeth thee nearer to thy Home.” His thoughts said, “The fight is fierce.”             His Father said, “He who is near to his Captain is sure to be a target for the archers.” His thoughts said, “The night is long.”             His Father said, “But joy cometh in the morning.” * * Psalm 30:5

I look not back: God sees the fruitless efforts, The wasted hours, the sinning and regrets; I leave them all with Him who blots the record, And graciously forgives and then forgets. I look not forward, God sees all the future, The road that long, or short, will lead me home. And He will face with me each trial And bear with me the burden that may come. But I look up, up to the face of Jesus: For there my heart can rest, my fears are stilled And there is joy and love and light for darkness And perfect peace and every hope fulfilled.     - Anonymous, sent to the charity Through The Roof

Dear B, As sisters go, we’re probably a unique pair. Such opposites, yet we get along so well. (As you probably realised by now, yes, I miss you!) I came across the poem that I wrote for you before I left home. And it brought back so many memories of you. I love so many things about you. Your buoyant enthusiasm and the tendency to jump into every enterprise, feet first! (How many times have I had to be the voice of sanity, if not reason!) Your unflagging loyalty and your penchant for flying to the defence of the three most closest to your heart, then (am adding L to the ranks now!). You have this amazing gift of reaching out to people and giving so much of yourself without expecting anything in return. I love the generosity of spirit and heart that sets you apart from all the rest. You feel things so deeply, yet you have a childlike joy and delight in the silliest of things! Your optimism surrounds you like a cloud (remember the stained glass painting of the butterflies and bubble...

In my bid to be proactive, I’ve found others on this journey – fellow travellers who are treading this very same road! Thanks aisi! Moping around and being tragic has made me realise one thing – it’s much easier to allow negativity and cynicism to run amok than to look at life with the innocence and hope of a child. If being a “grown-up” means that I have to live without joy, then please, allow me to bow out! “Restore unto me the joy of Thy salvation…” * This is my quest – to find pleasure in the insignificant, hope in the glorious and the joy that only my Father can give! “Gather my broken fragments to a whole… Take up the things that I have cast away In vice or indolence or unwise play. Let mine be a merry, all-receiving heart, But make it whole, with light in every part.” -          George MacDonald *Psalm 51:12 (a)

There are times when I know what I’m thinking is wrong. My mind turns into a playground for all and sundry to walk in; one thought leads to another and I find myself spiralling downward into a hell of my very own making. It’s frustrating and painful to say nothing of being highly unnecessary! I hated being reduced to a mass of nerves and questions, tossed from end to end. So I went back to the Word – the only sound foundation – and found Paul unequivocally say, “…bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.” * As someone so succinctly put it – thoughts engender emotions which in turn stimulate actions . Reality check! The mess in my head would eventually lead to a blinding catastrophe in my life if I didn’t get my act together! Obeying Christ involves believing and trusting in Him and His Word. So obviously my thoughts of doubt, fear, hopelessness – the very lack of joy – were glaring disobedience! Duh! And each time I chose to dwell on them (most of them wel...

Sometimes God amazes me at the speed at which He answers my questions. And He doesn’t beat around the bush either! I’d struggled with doubt and fear, completely inundated by a “confusion of heart”. And I wondered why I was unable to find any sort of victory in this area. So I asked my Father – where had I gone wrong? Had I disobeyed His will? His reply was instantaneous! (I think in all my doubting I’d been getting the wrong end of the stick! It was like He’d been waiting for me to come to my senses and start asking the right questions!) “…you did not serve the Lord your God with joy and gladness of heart, for the abundance of everything…” * These moments of blinding revelation seem to be getting quite frequent! I realised I had only myself to blame. I was allowing the Devil to rob me of the joy and gladness that was rightfully mine. Not being joyful was tantamount to saying, “I don’t trust You, God. I don’t think You know what You’re doing. So I choose to worry and doubt and fea...