inkhorn

What a year 2015 is turning out to be! The CP is turning one, MD is facing slander and office politics on a personal level and on the home front – yikes! What a gargantuan mess! I'm not even asking “why” any more. Just – Lord, what good is this going to bring? I mean, apart from the CP turning one, which is grand! The future looks like there's only more hurt and heartache in store. I know He has a plan. I honestly don't see it, but I'm believing it. I know in this world we will have troubles. So right now I'm praying for strength in the face of pain, love in the face of injustice and hope in the face of bleakness. I'm taking heart for He has overcome the world.* *John 16:33

Faced by rock, impregnable, cold, I claw and clamour, wondering - 'Where do I even begin looking for hope?' At the door, are despair and anguish; So I clutch at straws - 'He has promised after all, can it get worse?' Finally, in desperation, I clench the Word, staring blankly, eyes clouded, by misery. Until! A phrase, stands up and shouts - “...God is the strength of my heart...”* - my heart ;  not  body,  mind,  or  spirit.  (Though He is  all that too!) Just the salve, my sore self needed, to ease the hurt and pain. Rest finally enfolds me and peace enters - He is “...the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”* Oh bliss!                          ...

How should I react to hurting statements? Should I just accept them as another person’s perspective and let it go? What gives me the right to decide that my understanding of a particular circumstance is the right one and the other is flawed? Does that, in actual fact, mean that the other person has the right understanding and me, the jaundiced? I don’t know. As much as negative comments hurt, help me Lord to remember – it’s not about me. 

What is it about the Past that refuses to loosen its clutches on the Present? They say time heals and helps you forget. I wonder – does it really? I’ve seen over and over again, how something small and insignificant can trigger a memory, unleashing an avalanche of feelings and images which you’d thought to be completely dead, buried and forgotten. Mistakes you’ve made, decisions taken, injustices and wrongs committed against you, betrayal, rejection, and the list goes on. As I sat and contemplated this, a yawning abyss of hopelessness seemed to open up before me. The cycle seemed endless, only resulting in the Past being granted greater power to hurt than heal. Seeking an answer, and if not an answer at least a modicum of sense in this wretchedness, I turned to my Father’s Word, and (not surprisingly) found both! “…the former shall not be remembered or come to mind. But be glad and rejoice forever in what I create…” * He never fails to amaze me! Allowing God to take charge of ...