inkhorn

A friend of mine recently experienced a heart-breaking tragedy. As numb with shock as I was, I can barely begin to imagine her pain. In that instant I wished I could wrap my arms tight around her and weep. Yet, unable to be at her side, I just wept, my heart breaking for all that she was going through. Of course the “whys” came. And no answer that made any semblance of sense. All I could do was pray. But what to pray for at such a time? Wishing it had never happened? I don’t have any answers for the “whys”. They still rattle around in my head. But in all the confusion, pain and grief, as the world spins around crazily, there is One Constant. So though there is anger and bewilderment, I can only hold on to Him until the world rights itself. The future is a blank without a view. That which I wanted most, You have denied; I cannot understand (and I have tried); There’s nothing I can do but wait on You.                   ...

So I stand at the threshold of another crossroad. And I find myself struggling with this new avenue. I want to jump up and fight for my rights. I’m fearful of the future. Worst case scenarios crowd my mind and I feel life slipping out of my control. Fear and anger take over and I righteously claim mine. I’m protecting what belongs to me – so I can’t be wrong, right? Then why is there no peace? Only fear and worry? “Lord”, I pray, half-heartedly. “Why are You asking me to do this? It’s unfair!” Deep down, I don’t really want any answers. Just a good fight and a chance to claim my just dues and be proved right! But thankfully He loves me too much to leave me in misery. “ Seek Me and live *,” He said. “How Lord,” I cried. “What should I do?” So He led me to this passage from the book Gold By Moonlight by Amy Carmichael. Based on the verse below, this is what she writes – “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in t...

So what drives me – the seen or the unseen? Is it the money MD/I earn and the things I can buy with it (like all the books on my wishlist! *sigh*)? Or is it the desire for these “essentials” that motivates me to do what I do? Chesterton argues that it is the unseen;* and as I grapple with this issue, first hand, I wonder… For a while I thought I’d gotten over my hardfistedness, until it chose to rear its cynical self again. I thought my annoyance was justified; so I allowed myself to go over and over the issue until I’d been reduced to a mass of irritated nerves! I also knew that MD wouldn’t agree with my opinions, which just added fuel to the fire! After a fine imaginary argument with an absent MD, (during which I came up with several witty and pithy retorts!), I finally went to my Father and complained. I thought I was right to be angry at MD’s generosity  foolishness. Until He said that I ought to be ashamed of myself! “…And all shall be ashamed who are incens...

The perversity of inanimate objects is nothing compared to the perversity of human beings! Some have the knack of making themselves perfectly objectionable for no earthly reason. I was brought up short recently by one such individual and my gut reaction was completely unworthy of the Lord. I wanted to give him a piece of my mind in no uncertain terms. I knew I was in the right and he wasn’t. I could feel the anger building up inside me. And worse, I felt helpless and completely inept, unable to rectify the situation which seemed to be rapidly deteriorating. So, out of sheer frustration (and seeking Godly approval to have a towering argument!), I opened His Word. Apart from a blaring silence on the approval front, the only word I received was – “God…was over them.” * Very brief and succinct – God really doesn’t mince words, neither does He wax eloquent. He goes to the heart of the matter and deals with the core issue. And here, I only needed four words to settle things! In my f...